So proud of my girl August 3, 2008

My 14-year old daughter is a quiet, shy girl. She speaks quietly, asks permission and gets good grades.  She also has a natural talent for athletics and a very aggressive personality that is only seen when she’s on the playing field.

She’s been playing ‘official’ sports since she was five years old. She started with YMCA basketball and Centre Region soccer.  Soccer ended about two seasons later because the shin guards “made her legs sweaty” and she didn’t like it.  Basketball continued until this past November when her eighth grade season ended.

Two years ago she decided to try out again for soccer because her friends were trying out and she thought it might be fun to see if she could get on the travel team.  I wasn’t too optimistic because she hadn’t played for years and years and the girls trying out for the team were girls that had played for a long time and were very invested in soccer. She made the team and ended up being a stand-out player.

She loved playing basketball but just like a lot of other things, the coach has a lot to do with the players and her love for the sport faded away this year as it became less and less fun for her to participate.  Also adding to her decision to bow out of basketball was knowing that going into her first year of high school, basketball is the same season as her new sports passion – field hockey.

She went to a few field hockey sessions through Centre Region Parks and Rec when she was in elementary school. These were held in the spring months, once or twice a week for about 2 months.  She really liked it, but wasn’t passionate about it.  When middle school rolled around and she was able to try out for the school field hockey team, it all changed.  That passion started to appear and she wanted to do more and learn more about this sport.  As I said, she really is a natural athlete and I am constantly amazed at how easily she can pick up a sport and really excel.

She made the field hockey team in 7th and 8th grade and in just a few weeks will be trying out for the 9th grade team.  She went to the Penn State Field Hockey camp this summer and although she was glad to be there, really felt that it was below her skill level and was disappointed that she didn’t learn more and wasn’t challenged.

Last week we drove her to Ithaca, NY to attend the field hockey camp at Cornell.  She attended with a friend and they were both really hoping for a camp that would challenge, teach, and work them.  After an initial night of being homesick, she had a wonderful time. The instructors worked on conditioning and seemed to really be able to have the girls form bonds with each other and give them a sense of ‘team pride’ just after playing together for a few days.

The Cornell camp ended yesterday and on her way home she sent me a text message saying that the head coach went to her specifically after the last game to tell her that she was very good. She asked her what grade she was going into and was blown-away when Hannah told her she was just going into 9th grade. The coach asked her where she was from and said she would really like her to come to the advanced camp next year.  The coach continued to speak with her saying that she would really like to keep an eye on her and her playing and to stay in touch with her.  Hannah was amazed, excited, and humbled all at the same time.

I’ve been telling my first daughter for years that she is such a wonderful person. She’s kind, funny, smart, amazingly talented as an athlete and a very cute girl.  I think hearing the head coach of Cornell’s field hockey program come to her and speak specifically with her about her talent was a very eye-opening experience for her and maybe, for the first time, has her starting to see how many options she really does have for her life.  I think sometimes we can forget how powerful the actions of one person are in the life of another. One word, one kindness can open minds and doors and that is an incredibly powerful thing.

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Sunshine and Roses – Or Not June 3, 2008

This blog post has been brewing around in my head for a while now, but I’m finally getting around to writing about it.

As you’ll recall from an earlier blog post, I love etsy. Love it, love it, love it. I love the idea of all of these handmade items from amazing artists all over the world being available in one spot where I can purchase them. I adore that there’s such variety there, even to the point of one woman posting her handmade item for sale as “A handwritten letter, in ink.. along with my lemon bar recipe.”. So fantastic.

I recently purchased two items from etsy. One was a handmade bag. It looked great online but when I received it I was even more pleased. The seller was in constant contact with me from the moment I purchased it, even going so far as to ask if I’d like the keyfob sewn on the inside or outside. She was fantastic and that made my first etsy experience so wonderful. Thanks Bizzy Lizzy!

My second etsy item purchased was a ring. I’m a sterling silver lover and the thought of having some handmade silver jewelry was certainly appealing. I started searching and came upon a shop that had some really lovely things. I purchased a ring and was expecting the same sort of experience I’d had with the bag, but it didn’t happen. There was no warm fuzzy contact, no emails, no “Hey Thanks for placing an order, we’ll let you know when it ships!”. Nothing.

Now, I’m a chatty kind of girl but if that’s not how they run their store, that’s ok. I don’t need chatty to get a pretty ring so whatever. I did get a note when the ring shipped so at least I knew it was on the way.

Here’s a photo of the ring from the etsy site:

When I received the ring I was crazy excited. I couldn’t WAIT for my handmade gorgeous silver ring. I ripped it out of the box and was immediately disappointed. It was much lighter weight than I’d imagined. The metal was much thinner than I’d imagined and I felt like I didn’t get what I expected.

Here’s a photo I took of my ring:

Now, in hindsight I probably should have contacted the sellers immediately and told them how I felt, but I didn’t. I’m not sure why I didn’t.. maybe because they didn’t feel the need to contact me at all during the two-three weeks I was waiting for my ring. Or, maybe it was because I hate confrontation. Either way.. I didn’t contact them.

What I did do, however, was give them “neutral” feedback. Not negative… neutral. I gave neutral because I wasn’t thrilled with what I received, but I also didn’t want to be ‘mean’, and realized that perhaps it was just ME and not associated with the seller at all and so neutral to me seemed like a good choice. I was immediately contacted by the seller who said:

“We never leave a customer unhappy. Now you’re stuck with a ring you don’t like and we’re stuck with feedback we don’t deserve.”

Now.. if you never leave a customer unhappy.. .how come I’m “stuck” with the ring? Why not.. right now.. offer to do something for me to change my mind? Why not fix it?

That same seller then contacted me again and specifically asked me to contact etsy and ask to have my feedback removed. I was actually shocked by this. I refused to change my ‘neutral’ feedback or to have it removed. The seller wasn’t pleased, but that’s how I felt.

The seller right now has over 200 comments/feedback. All of those are positive.. except mine. There are no negatives there, just my neutral. The seller then, in response, left me ‘neutral’ feedback with no comments at all.

I think this is a much bigger, deeper issue than etsy.. and I think we’ll have to talk about that some more.

When is it “too much”? June 1, 2008

I recently got a new job and things have dramatically changed since then.. including my thinking and views on certain things. In my old position, my ‘work’ was very structured and there was no real room for creativity. There was a certain set of things to get done every week and as long as that list was done, all was well with the world.

In this job.. it’s different. In this job I have the freedom to be creative, to explore, learn, network and grow. I cannot tell you how incredibly thankful I am for that. I love having the opportunity to do things I love and feel passionate about.  On the other hand, this job also comes with similar ’structured’ responsibilities like academically advising over 100 veteran military students.  I need to be there for them, help them with course selection, financial aid, problems with registration, etc.  Customer service is of huge importance to me.. I think it can make all the difference in the world to a student. I work really hard to stay caught up on my student work and know exactly who my students are at all times and help them with whatever I can. I also love *that* aspect of my job.

Here’s the problem/dilemma/situation.. whatever you want to call it. These two areas of my current position are very different. Right brain and left brain, really. On one hand I need to be logical, structured and a problem-solver and on the other, I need to be creative, innovative, artistic, networking and learning.  Balancing these two areas seems to be more of a challenge as each day passes.

I watch/read/follow people that are also working in new environments, creating new experiences, using technology in amazingly innovative ways.. and I feel as though I’m falling behind. I feel like it’s becoming more and more difficult to keep up when I’m struggling to do everything I can for my students. With all of the new technologies out there, it’s a challenge just to keep up on those on a daily basis, let alone actually get a chance to use, experiment and learn from them.

There are days where I feel as though I’m truly flipping a switch in my brain to move from one area of my job to the other, and more and more I feel as though I’m not doing a great job in either one.  The creative aspect means so much to me. I long to be artistic and creative and use the talents I have to make things that I think will matter and will mean something to people that use it. On the other hand, students matter. Without students and without my help we have nothing and none of the rest of it means anything at all.

I do wonder, sometimes.. how people do it. I feel as though with a full-time job, three kids, and a marriage that just making it through the day in one piece is a challenge. It amazes me when I see other people with children and the same sorts of responsibilities that I have that talk about papers they’re submitting,  conferences they’re attending, keynotes they’re giving, and research they’re doing – constantly. I wonder how they do it and still feel as though they’re in control and on top of it all.  I wonder how they still feel connected to their families, or that they’re doing a great job. I wonder if they feel – like I do sometimes – that all the joy of what we do, is no longer as joyful because now it’s based on research, methods, keynotes, comparisons, and ‘appearances’.

I wonder, in this magical world of Web 2.0, how long we can all keep this up. Will we all wake up one day to realize that half of our lives have passed us by, that our children are grown and gone, wondering when it all happened? Or, will these tools we all love so much keep us connected in ways we can’t even yet imagine?

Tattoo on the Calendar May 30, 2008

I don’t have any tattoos. I’ve wanted to get one for a long time, but for some reason I always felt like any tattoo I got would have to be representative of my entire existence in one image and with that much pressure.. no wonder I never got one!

It wasn’t until about a year ago that I started, slowly, to realize that I didn’t have to get just ONE tattoo, I could get several… many even, if I so chose. Knowing that, I started thinking about what I’d like my *first* tattoo to be. I have decided on a peapod design with vines, two sweet pea flowers (to represent me and my husband) and three peas (to represent my kids). I collect “pea” related things so this is a perfect thing for me.

I spent some time last night pondering why exactly I like peas so much. They’re cute, obviously.. round little balls of joy, if you ask me…. but what else? There must be more.  I started thinking back and trying to remember ‘peas’es (sorry) of my life. The first thing I thought of was how the first time I ever had snow peas or sugar snap peas I was at my grandmother’s house. I have such amazing memories of my Grandma and so that was a great memory.  Then, when my kids were really small, the very first garden I planted had sweet peas in it and I still remember watching my little ones rush out to the garden and stand there on summer evenings picking peas right off the vine and eating them like they were candy. A few years ago when I’d made the biggest decision of my life (walking out of my marriage) and was living on my own with not a lot of money, there were nights I ate only a can of peas for dinner… and I loved it. So peas almost represent a sort of independence for me, too.

The last and probably fondest memory I have of peas are when my best friend (now my husband) spent an entire month making green craft balls into miniature peas of all sizes, some no bigger than the tip of my pinky fingernail.  He glued individual googly eyes on *EVERY* *SINGLE* *PEA*. Every single… pea. There were thousands of them, truly. Some bigger, some larger, but none bigger than the tip of any of my fingers.  Once he’d finished that chore of a project, he mixed all those little peas with plastic miniature snowflakes, tiny sleds, and small little plastic candy canes.  He then shoved all of those things into a small wooden box intertwined with battery-powered miniature white Christmas lights, turned them on and mailed them to me from North Carolina. They arrived at my house a few days later, and he was sure to tell me to open them in the dark so that the little lights he put in there would light up the box as the tiny peas spilled all over the floor.  In that one moment, I was overwhelmed. Any man insane enough to spend that much time gluing plastic googly eyes on green craft balls was the man for me.

I married him about two years after that and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Yeah.. a peapod tattoo will be good.
July 25 at Integrity Tattoos in Royersford, PA by Justin Bolonski.

crazy frustrated May 6, 2008

(Please note that these are my personal comments and not at all sanctioned by, approved of, or in any way related to my position at a large university.)

*eye roll*

I am crazy stupid frustrated these days. I am so incredibly tired of political nonsense, outdated policies, and the whims and decisions of one or two people that seem to make the ‘rules’ for an entire organization. When Ghandi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”, he apparently was not aware how much bullshit one must fight through to make change happen in organizations. If Ghandi had to go through what we’re having to go through I have no doubt that he would have said “This is not worth it.”, and that would have been that.

I do try to be an agent of change… every single day. Some days are easier than others. The hardest days? The hardest days are when I’m dealing with the people that actually have the power to MAKE CHANGES. Imagine that.

I understand that change can be frightening, and I fully understand that there are risks involved with change and that not all change is good change.  I do also believe, however, that one cannot grow or improve if you constantly stay the same.  Rules that worked years ago do not necessarily work now. We have to continually stop, rethink and take a damn step back and say “Does this make sense?”. If the answer is no, then freaking CHANGE IT.  Do it differently.

There are days when I really do wish I could be the person that just says “Oh ok” when I’m told I can’t do something or can’t have something.  I would very likely be a lot less frustrated and have a lot more energy if I was that person… but I’m not.  I have never been that person. If something doesn’t make sense, then I need to find out what’s going on, and change it.  I just wish sometimes that was an easier process.

the best kind of iPod is a free iPod March 5, 2008

Circuit City is in the process of a Second Life promotion to give away 10 4GB iPod Nanos. They’ve hidden some virtual nanos on the Circuit City islands in Second Life and if you are lucky enough to find one, they’ll send you a real 4GB iPod nano in “real life”. I was lucky enough to be the very first winner in this promotion after some serious time searching for it. My lovely new nano arrived today.

Thanks, Circuit City!

inspiration is a powerful drug February 13, 2008

I’ve always hated politics. I hate that politicians are self-centered and narcissistic and that politics in general is about lying and cheating and behind-the-scenes manuevering.  To be honest, until this year I didn’t really care much about it. I voted, and cared enough to hope my candidate would be elected, but that’s as involved as I got in the process.

This year’s different.

This year, there’s a candidate that inspires me. This year I am passionately involved in the process. I’m cheering for election returns like I cheer for my school’s football team during the big game. I’m checking websites and news feeds just to keep up with the latest information. I want.. no.. NEED to hear this person speak.

I’m the kind of person that hates being told I can’t.  Feeling that way will only make me want to do it more.  I need to be inspired, encouraged, and supported. I need a leader that makes me want to be a better person. A president that inspires me to make changes in my own life and in our country. I need someone that makes me feel like I CAN do good things. I need that ray of hope, that beacon of inspiration.  I think our country desperately needs it as well.

Yes we can, and yes.. I will.

today’s delegate count is… February 7, 2008

CNN:
Clinton                823
Obama                741

FOX:
Clinton                1024
Obama                 933

MSNBC:
Clinton                834
Obama                838

According to MSNBC’s website:
“We’ve done our best to do some reporting — talk to both campaigns who have boiler rooms who do nothing but keep track of this vote. Combined with our own knowledge of those congressional districts, we did an estimate,” said NBC News Political Director Chuck Todd.”